Medium 29July2016

Vulnerability is a recent expression of ourselves, publicly. This occurs in team motivational talks, in team development, in key note speeches – not just on social media. It carries an additional resonance with it, to the audience, no matter who is listening. If you’ve been living under a rock, you won’t have noticed how common vulnerable expressions have become. It is important to note though, that these stories or insights, remain deeply personal.

The ability to be sensitive to your own needs, and the choice to recognise that reflection is probably the best response to an area not going well for you, is a developing one – so now welcome it. Open the door to your problematic life area, as you would to a dinner guest, and carve out a couple of hours in your day to engage with it.

How do you engage with it?

If you could see your whole being as a canvas. Now you could divide the canvas into areas such as career, identity, intimate relationship, family, dreams, expansion, self-development, adventures, friendships, community etc all your relevant areas of life.

This way you better understand how you’ve allocated your time and energy, generally. Now it becomes easier to engage with any of these areas, understanding that you’re living life from your perspective outwards to each life area. Remember, these life areas exist because you’ve spent time and energy on them, nurtured them by paying attention.

Why should you engage with it?

Treat each life area as a part of you, a layer of your personality, your existence. Every moment and each breath you take, brings and keeps each area relevant. This is You. If you were avoiding the miserable working conditions in your job, this neglect is not really useful to addressing what about your job is making you miserable. However, if you grabbed your courage in one hand and the work situation in the other, go to your reflection space at home or in a park, and start to engage.

So how is a vulnerability great timing?

Notice how the longer you avoided the last problem, how it got worse and worse. This is quite evident in a work setting and relationship setting. Life areas that only affect us, seem to be ignored before we decide to become aware of it. How can dealing with a life area be good timing then? It’s arrived in time for you to expand your perspective, to consider new ways of looking at this life area. It’s arrived just in time for you to pay more attention to it. It’s highly likely that this life area is overdue for quality time anyway. So you can look back on the life area you attended to and see how it’s benefited you, or remain patient and address a problematic life area now to the best of your intention, to later understand and appreciate this challenge’s arrival.

What do I need to achieve?

Scheduling reflection to engage with that vulnerable situation in your life, is very productive and has you committed to following through.

  • Engaging requires a level of interest to achieving something, so what goal can you set?
  • Reflection is subjective of course, the goal generally is to find out why this life area has developed into a big challenge.
  • Find out how you feel about it, describe the situation in one sentence.
  • As you are engaging, pay attention to new thoughts, ideas or feelings that come up to the surface and take note of them.
  • As you are busy reflecting, and taking notes during the analysis, you’ll be guided to possible next steps for you. The next steps are options you get to explore.
  • Options are not guarantees, please treat them as optional and explore each one. If only one option came up, adopt an exploratory approach anyway.

In exploration or discovering thinking state, our brain takes better direction from us as we become more open to various outcomes. When we have expectations about option 1 being the best, our brain produces limiting thoughts. Best to remain in discovery mode and open.

If you have the need to be supported and guided, reach out to a friend you trust and who will hold a space for you to be vulnerable or comment below for personal support from me.